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How do i get him out of my head?
okay this is going to be a little long but please just read it, i don't know what to do?
Ok, so i have dated only a few people in my life and i just can't get this one out of my head. I never really felt this from the others and i really did like them but I never really felt the way he made me feel. he made me feel really happy, i was happy just being in the same room as him. He made me feel loved, he even told me he loved me and yet he really hurt me. We broke up twice both times his decision. The first time he did it was on my birthday, fully aware that it was my birthday, we had plans to go out and yet he went with his friends while i waited hours to pick him up where i usually do, he texted me and said "i want to break up." What an ass! how could you do that to someone on there birthday, and over text no less! Around one in the morning he texted me and said he was sorry and he really wanted me back and how much he needed me. And being stupid i said yes. well we started hanging out like nothing happened and then one day my friend Laura who i thought was my "best friend" text me and siad "i think there is something you should know i promised not to tell you but i think you have the right to know, he cheated on you" i got sick to my stomach. I didn't know what to do, i loved him so much. all i could think was "how can you do that to me when you know how it feels to be cheated on", "you were hurt when he did it to you, so why do it to me?" So i text him and i said i love you. he didn't reply. i sent it to him again an hour later and he replied "yeah u2" he never text me back like that unless there was something wrong, he always put "i love you". i asked if he was alright and he said yeah. i told him "i will always be here if you need me" and then he asked me if i had talked to laura and i said no. then he text me "i'm not stupid!" laura texts me telling me she is getting yelled at by him. well then i said i love you again and then he said "I want to break up" again over text message. well a few days later he comes to my college and says says he never cheated on me he just told laura that so i would break up with him. he said i didn't mean to hurt you that way. he told me the only reason he got back with me after the first break up was because he felt like he had to fix things, that he had to do it so i would be happy and make him feel better. How can you be so cruel and tell someone that. it makes them feel even worse about themselves. well a few weeks later i talk to his best friend who is also my friend and she tells me laura was in on the lie the whole time. I asked laura and she told me she did. i asked here how could you do that? how could ya''ll tell me a lie so hurtful when it would have been easier for him to just tell me "i want to break up". And then she says don't be pissed at me it's not my fault he broke up with you! i told her that wasn't the point how could you lie to me and then watch me tear from the inside out and just suffer, your my best friend. then she got pissed and said i'm not your friend anymore.
ok so back to the point, i can't get him out of my head, its been three months and still i can't get him out. he is dating one of his ex's and i know he doesn't even think of me anymore. so why can't i move on like he did? what can i do? i thought i was over him and even hated him so why? how can i get him out?
Ok, so i have dated only a few people in my life and i just can't get this one out of my head. I never really felt this from the others and i really did like them but I never really felt the way he made me feel. he made me feel really happy, i was happy just being in the same room as him. He made me feel loved, he even told me he loved me and yet he really hurt me. We broke up twice both times his decision. The first time he did it was on my birthday, fully aware that it was my birthday, we had plans to go out and yet he went with his friends while i waited hours to pick him up where i usually do, he texted me and said "i want to break up." What an ass! how could you do that to someone on there birthday, and over text no less! Around one in the morning he texted me and said he was sorry and he really wanted me back and how much he needed me. And being stupid i said yes. well we started hanging out like nothing happened and then one day my friend Laura who i thought was my "best friend" text me and siad "i think there is something you should know i promised not to tell you but i think you have the right to know, he cheated on you" i got sick to my stomach. I didn't know what to do, i loved him so much. all i could think was "how can you do that to me when you know how it feels to be cheated on", "you were hurt when he did it to you, so why do it to me?" So i text him and i said i love you. he didn't reply. i sent it to him again an hour later and he replied "yeah u2" he never text me back like that unless there was something wrong, he always put "i love you". i asked if he was alright and he said yeah. i told him "i will always be here if you need me" and then he asked me if i had talked to laura and i said no. then he text me "i'm not stupid!" laura texts me telling me she is getting yelled at by him. well then i said i love you again and then he said "I want to break up" again over text message. well a few days later he comes to my college and says says he never cheated on me he just told laura that so i would break up with him. he said i didn't mean to hurt you that way. he told me the only reason he got back with me after the first break up was because he felt like he had to fix things, that he had to do it so i would be happy and make him feel better. How can you be so cruel and tell someone that. it makes them feel even worse about themselves. well a few weeks later i talk to his best friend who is also my friend and she tells me laura was in on the lie the whole time. I asked laura and she told me she did. i asked here how could you do that? how could ya''ll tell me a lie so hurtful when it would have been easier for him to just tell me "i want to break up". And then she says don't be pissed at me it's not my fault he broke up with you! i told her that wasn't the point how could you lie to me and then watch me tear from the inside out and just suffer, your my best friend. then she got pissed and said i'm not your friend anymore.
ok so back to the point, i can't get him out of my head, its been three months and still i can't get him out. he is dating one of his ex's and i know he doesn't even think of me anymore. so why can't i move on like he did? what can i do? i thought i was over him and even hated him so why? how can i get him out?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Nate on -
well it seems as though he has a problem with dating people, breaking up, and then going to them. he's very insecure. and your best friend was never your FRIEND in the first place. keep your friends close, keep your "so-called" friends closer. remember that.
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Permalink Reply by CJ on -
Isn't that the truth! It's so sad how one only finds out who your true friends are exactly when you need their support the most. Relying on one's friends is often what gives us the strength to deal with things, and for that reason is also what makes one so vulnerable to their betrayal. Consider it an unfortunate but valuable insight into your "friend". Never again will she be able to double cross you. As for not being able to forget your ex - well it happens, but time heals a multitude of pains, My advice would be to try to move on, even if this guy retains a special place in your heart. Just be sensitive to not hurting a new boyfriend by carrying a torch for the old one!
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Permalink Reply by DANNY SKINHEAD on -
betrayal on that level is damn hard to cope with,from your ex and your friend.Try and distance yourself from both of them as at the moment it only hurts you.Your ex was a bastard,a bastard to stringing you along and a bastard to end it like that.Someone who can hurt another like he hurt you as never felt love and never will.
The reason he has moved on so quickly is because he did'nt love you.The reason you can't move on is because you did/do still love him.
There is'nt an answer to your question except to say time will heal you,you'll feel able to trust again and love again.I beg you do not become cynical and hate people because one ex was a bastard and your ex friend is a fool.
I shall leave you with a line from the song the Rose "a soul that is scared of loving is a soul that will never live" believe in yourself,get stonger and love again
Danny Boy xxx
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Permalink Reply by Paul on -
I'm 47. I know what you're talking about. He has his bread buttered both sides with you, but that's still not even what he wants. He needs you as an emotional crutch. That's all. He's weak, abusive and selfish. He doesn't want you at all. He just needs you around when he's lonely and needs support. You're so well at providing that for him.
The only way to get over someone is to let 6 months pass. But if he then contacts you during that period you're back to month one. That's what psychological research has proven. The other way is to meet someone else. You need to replace him. There are many fish in the sea. Little selfish user-boy just isn't worth your while. Dump him mentally and physically. Get rid of any items you are holding onto that reminds you of him. Then move on. Refuse to talk to him or be contacted by him. Change your mobile number if you have to. Just get away from him. This is binding you and wasting precious time of you life. I pray for you that God would bless you and strengthen you and provide a new mate for you. Blessings! Paul
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Permalink Reply by Albert Mr T on -
hi
only time will give you the correct anserwe its took me 6 month to forget about one of my bf ,just rimimber the best time with him all the nice moments ,any way good luck and look forward not backwards .
All the best
Albert
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Permalink Reply by Jean Hendrik Bekker on -
Just move on with ur life go out and do something about it takf the advise ive been there! hope u wil find someone who wil love u like u love him
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Permalink Reply by Xander on -
Time heals, Blane. It might take long until you recover from that serious pain. Just try to live your life normally like nothing bad happened. You'll eventually get back to the life you had had before that whole thing started. But don't keep your feelings inside. Let it out. Cry if you feel like crying. The pain also has to get out.
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Permalink Reply by Thomas on -
well I can say the same with me some guy told me he loved me and he wants it to be open but I can understand how guys feel It's just somethimes you must think about how people feel about you I had a guy who dated me for about 3 months then he starting blackmailing me now ummm lets say we cant stand each other but we do talk with each other Just have to Keep people who are close As what Nate said Keep your socalled friends closer because it can stabb you in the back.
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