GAY LIFE IS LIKE PORN ANYWAY

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Permalink Reply by None on January 11, 2009 at 8:36pm

Well, you've said so much, I'll try to give you my point of view. I dont think all gay people in the world is just looking for sex, in fact, i have known many boys who have been through wonderful relationships, even when later things may have gone wrong. I accept that most of the people is only looking for sex, or at least most of the people can only find good sex; but anyway to find the real love, to find a person that wanna be with you & you wanna be him, well, that has always been a very difficult thing to reach, also for heterosexual people. So, you just keep on trying, & keep the faith. Your time' s gonna come, and if it does'nt come, anyway, you could say you tried your best.

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Permalink Reply by Ivor on January 17, 2009 at 2:38am

thanks for the honest and positive reply.

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Permalink Reply by Jayson on February 11, 2009 at 11:37am

i have to admit that going by what u say i must be abnormal as i had a 20 yr relationship with a guy which ended naturally as it just kind of fizzled out now i have found someone else who is looking for a longterm thing. I will agree with you however most men on the chat sites are after no strings wham bam thank you mam sex, i was getting suicidal at the thought that there wasn't anyone out there who was interested in long term commitment. I think if you want to try porn then you should go for it and good luck.

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Permalink Reply by Dameian on February 18, 2009 at 11:47am

well think about it, ur 23 im 18, we r in our sexual prime our peak, this is the best its gonna get before we get older and start looking for a "real relationship". in my opinion i fee lthat gay men are permisscuious because we can be, unlike our hetero counterparts we can experment and have a new guy ever night thats fine, we r not looked upon like the hetero's we r not breeders...sooo i think u should enjoy it now, while ur young and hot, dont worry about relationships until ur thirty!...lol

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Permalink Reply by dino on February 18, 2009 at 5:38pm

i agree if your into pretty boys then you tend to get burnt as such what about all the average gay guys out there everybody need somebody to love sometime i reckon

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Permalink Reply by Bill on February 19, 2009 at 5:07pm

Dude, there is another way! Sex and hot encounters don't add up to love, they add up to lust! We as men [especially gay men] do I believe, have something in our DNA or our hormones, maybe just some of our personalities, but the truth is you can have hot sex with different guys and still be in love with just one guy! I had an open relationship for 5 years, it was awesome! We loved each other, we lived together, we worked together at a gay gym, and we would pick out the hottest guys and have after hours party's at the gym. If one of us didn't feel comfortable with one of the guys, he had to go! If one went to the bathroom all sex would stop until the other got back. I'm older now, and want more from a relationship, and want someone who loves only me, and where I love only him. But at your age [under 25] and from 40 to 45] as I don't look my age, I had lots of fun with lots of guys, and I have no regrets!
We as gay men get to make up our own rulebook for what we want in a relationship! The federal government won't give us the right to get legally married and recognized all over the country like a heterosexual couple, so why should we have to follow the rules of straight peoples relationships! David and I had a great thing going with what we did! I've never found another partner like him, he was killed in 1999 and I really miss him still to this day. I don't think there is anything wrong with doing porn for money, your right about the fact that we would want to do it with those same guys anyway [usually]LOL, however porn sex isn't as hot in person as it is when you watch it. I can tell you this, from the picture I saw of you, if you do make any movies, I hope you will email me some clips! Live my friend, your only that young and hot for a short part of your life, do what makes you happy. Just don't confuse love and sex, you can have sex with anyone, it's who you go home to every night, who has your heart, who can finish your thoughts, and who comes to mind when you think about what you want to be doing, and who you want to do it with. When there is one person always coming into your mind in those situations, then you need to stop and take a look at that person, and don't let them go! Help them to get comfortable with your job, and make sure they know you love them and only them, no matter who you screw or suck on film. Thats how you make peace with it all in my opinion. I'm ready to get raked over the coals by other readers, but thats how I think and feel and I'm sticking with it. Cheers Bill

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Permalink Reply by Phil on February 20, 2009 at 1:23pm

Its probably not quite as simple as this but :- were men who have cocks and wanna use them and because were gay we dont have no women who say no/play hard to get/have a headache/dont wanna be branded a slag or called easy etc etc

As long as yr safe and happy who cares, if you want a long term relationship go find one, and if you want a quick shag, well I'm sure we all know where to find one xx

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Permalink Reply by Hydra on February 21, 2009 at 11:20pm

You have not found a proper relationship because you are not looking for one. So, yes, you are lying to yourself. Likewise, you want to act in a porn shoot. Well, consider the repercussions and then if you still desire to, do it. It's your choice and no one can change that. You can do whatever you want as long as you're prepared to take responsibility for it later on.

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Permalink Reply by Eddie on February 22, 2009 at 1:37am

Honestly I could be wrong but it seems to me that you're trying to justify your actions. There are sooooo many people who want to be with someone who loves them. Actually I don't know of anyone who doesn't want that, even the people who seem to hop from ass to ass. Who doesn't want someone to love them for who they are? I think that a lot of it has to deal with immaturity. People just get caught up with expectations. It could be the crowd you're hanging around with. If you surround yourself with people who really only value sex then what do you expect? I dunno. Let me know if I'm wrong.

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Permalink Reply by Christopher on February 23, 2009 at 4:24am

I like this post because it presents a couple of neat ideas to think about, and I'll be sure to try and make a lengthy reply toward it. First of all, when you're a gay man, you don't have to be a big part of the gay community to see that everyone, gay, straight, or whatever... they all get around at some point if they allow themselves to do so. Some people, however, are more involved in other things, like community, activism, fellowship, careers, families...

One thing to remember as anyone seeking something in another person, is that we all have a history. We all are unique in that each of us has our own version of personal life events. Along the course of those life events, we take in different lessons from what we experience. I won't say I'm not guilty of having a wandering eye, but I try to remain true to what I want in life and I think I would someday like a family. In today's society, parents must go out of their mind with worry from all the crap that's happening out in the world every day. Anyway, I'm getting off topic.

Suggestion 1-If you are ultimately seeking a relationship, make it clear to each person you talk to when you communicate with them. For example: "Hey, my name is Chris, I'm in the area looking to make some new friends and possibly make a stronger connection with someone down the road." The point of specifying that kind of dialogue is simply- if they aren't interested in making new friends, they definitely aren't interested in a relationship. Anyone who turns down the opportunity of a possible new friendship isn't anyone you would care to be around. This exemplary statement helps identify a relationship minded person from someone who isn't.

Suggestion 2-If you get the idea that someone is only viewing you as an object and that's something you really don't like and/or aren't looking for, then give that sucker the boot! Sex is great, but it's only part of a relationship and it's only part of you as a whole person. You are so much more than someone's play thing for the night.

Suggestion 3-I think you are struggling this point with the "if you can't beat them, join them" stigma that goes with the territory of bars and other negative hook-up locations. I think you should expand your horizons. You might want to try different ways to put yourself out there without making sex a big priority. First, I would try finding an alternate hangout for scoping guys. Avoid those areas where people are just looking for meat. Try reaching out online for guys in the area and look up information about them on their profile and such. It does no good to pick someone as a potential without knowing if you'll even have anything in common. And if sex IS your ultimate goal, let it be known somewhere down the road. I've had experiences in the past where people have made that their ultimate UNSPOKEN goal. When someone else isn't out for that and the other person keeps misleading the guy, it ends awkwardly.

Above all, I would just like to say, love is around you, even if you're unaware. Friends and family play a big part in fulfilling the need for love. If love is your ultimate goal with someone in a romantic sense, don't sell yourself short in just accepting yourself as another piece of ass. Adventure is fine, but once the adrenaline rush is gone, you're only left with another experience. Just give to yourself first as much as you give to others. They say that love is not selfish, but I beg to differ. I think love is like a business transaction. If it's something you want, you have to give it willingly, in order to receive it willingly. I also recommend taking time for you to find love in yourself. Find things in yourself and in life that you love, like, respect, cherish, and wish to share with someone. If you can't do that, then how can you really be capable of loving someone else? How would you wish to be treated if you were in their shoes?

We can't expect to find love in some perfect package, with the best features we could ever want. Love is just love... and it could be found in the most unlikely person. However, chances are, if you are open an honest about yourself and the things you want in life toward others, that will attract someone who is capable of loving you and who you are capable of loving also. Life is too short to waste it having sex with just anyone and certainly too short to waste being miserable. Having sex with someone you love could be so much more fulfilling, meaningful and romantic.

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Permalink Reply by alex on February 23, 2009 at 10:44am

we all have to live our own lives. others shouldn't judge someone else by their own standards, so i won't. if this is what you want to do then go for it. so long as your happy in the end, thats all that matters

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Permalink Reply by Dag on March 3, 2009 at 5:05pm

I think I agree with you; you are lying to yourself. Just look at the evidence. You pose in provocative pictures. You can't honestly be wondering why guys would want to fuck you. But you are young. Life will reveal itself to you as time goes by. Don't be in a hurry to get hitched. Enjoy freedom. From experience comes wisdom. :)

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