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Str8-Acting vs. The Gay Stereotype
So, I'm part of a few online websites to meet guys. Often, when I read people's profiles, they say things like "I'm str8 acting and want you to be too" and lines similar to that. I've always been bothered reading this because I feel that many members of the gay community do not support or feel that "stereotypical" gays make the community look bad. If a gay guy loves to do hair and is good at it, why should be compromise what he loves to do in order to seem less stereotypical? I genuinely feel bad for guys on websites who naturally fall into these stereotypes and are looking to find someone to date.
So my questions for this discussion: Do you think people who fall into gay stereotypes give gays a bad name? How do you define "feminine?" And finally, what's wrong with guys (gay, straight, bi, etc.) who act "feminine?"
So my questions for this discussion: Do you think people who fall into gay stereotypes give gays a bad name? How do you define "feminine?" And finally, what's wrong with guys (gay, straight, bi, etc.) who act "feminine?"
Tags: acting, dating, feminine, gay, sports, stereotypes, str8, straight
Views: 0
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Westhamdaz on -
Good comment
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Permalink Reply by Alex Irwin on -
I've never seen a problem with this. I have friends that are masculine, and some that are feminine. I think it just adds to how diverse the gay community is, just as the straigt community. Some people don't like to deal with teh Feminine types, mainly cuz their overdramtic, and usually really snooty. I've run into plenty of those, but they are who they are, and no one can change that. I don't really care how someone acts, as long as it's withen boundries. Like Man Bud said, at work, you're expected to act and be a certain way, with professionalism. At teh bar, or in your spare time, you can do whatever you feel like. I'm more masculine, and most people don't believe me when I say I'm gay, until I show them my boyfriend, then they get it. Some are still not convinced, cuz I'm not a "sterotypical" gay person.
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Permalink Reply by Chris on -
There are a few issues here - a guy saying that he is looking for a str8 acting guy is just stating his type, so he wants Will and not Jack... fair enough I say. Some guys like chubbier types, others are into muscle worship - hey, whatever turns you on. Personally, I am not attracted to effeminate guys, but I've been known to flame with the best of them (in bars). The social aspect though is very different, what we want is equality and respect - a naturally effeminate guy has as much right to respect as the hottest butch guy you can conjure up. BUT, I have been repulsed by guys I have met who played on the stereotype for attention. This type of attention seeking grates on me and it doesn't matter who the minority is, using stereotypes for attention grabbing makes me want to hand in my membership card.
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Permalink Reply by Charlie on -
You say in our comment that you are bothered by effeminate guys who, apparently, over dramaticize their mannerisms. What do you feel about "straight acting" men who showcase how butch or masculine they are? Do you, and others, feel that it is more acceptable and proper for gays so showcase one mannerism over the other?
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Permalink Reply by Christian on -
There are certain ways at certain times when you need to act a certain way. Many feminine guys who are flamboyent and don't care and scream anything they want, give gay people a bad name. When a guy means "straight acting," it necessarily means that they are not loud and out there like flamboyent ones. Of course we all have our gay moments, whether youre "straight acting" or "fem." But acting a certain way in certain places, plays a big part on stereotypes.
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Permalink Reply by Marius on -
Hello:)
Firstly, some guys, like those who act straight, can be quite insecure about their sexuality, because let's face it, if you're gay, you are feminine to a degree. By feminine I mean:
You are more sensitive to your surroundings and the vibes people give you, also sometimes known as gay-dar. You tend to notice people with pain more easily and identifiy much quicker with such people. Plus acceptance means alot to you, and straight guys mostly couldn't be bothered.
As far as the stereo-type goes, yes, there are bad sides. But dressing up, doing hair and having a voice as pleasent as a dental drill, doesn't give the community a bad name. It's the more slutty guys who make straight people afraid of us and tend to call us things like butt-pirates.
Does that answer your questions? Lol
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Permalink Reply by Charlie on
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I really like your reply and it makes so much sense. Thanks for taking the time to write!
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Permalink Reply by Jon on -
Are all gay men really more sensitive and feminine? Or do simply like bedding men? Yes, I am - but I know lots of guys, gay and straight at all points from feminine to ultra masculine.
I act like me. And I prefer guys who act similarly to me. that's it for me.
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Permalink Reply by Westhamdaz on
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Hi Charlie,
I'm with you on this one. But I'm what you call "straight acting". I'm gay, and have been told that I don't look or "act" it. I think its other peoples perceptions that we worry about. Would I go out with a "stereotypical" gay bloke, yes I would. It's who the person is, not the way they "act". They're not acting, they are being themselves and if that makes people uncomfortable, then who cares??
In answer to your question, NO, they don't give us a bad name, people just make their opinion.
Feminine, how long does it take a gay guy to shower??? Comb hair?? Got to be as long as a "straight" guy?? OK, we moisturise, and the odd face pack, lol!
That's my rant over and done with, thanks for the discussion
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Permalink Reply by Charlie on
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Lol...I'm glad someone feels the same way I do. Thanks for the refreshing response!
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Permalink Reply by Westhamdaz on
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Cool, and it's no worries!! x
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