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If a man has slept with another man, is he gay?
I have come across guys who get intimate with other guys but say they are neither gay nor bi. Basically i would like to know and hear different views as to what is the deciding factor.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Aubrey on -
What of the emotions that come to play a role in this "just physical" encouter of a reccuring anture?
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Permalink Reply by Aubrey on
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So you would box them to be Frienifits, as the term has been termed as of late? Not bad i guess, personal choice maybe?
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Permalink Reply by Bi_Gay_Men on -
Hey, everybody: I moved this discussion to Sexuality.
My guess: the deciding factor is how much somebody is willing to admit to themselves that they are not straight. Given the widespread hatred towards bi and gay people everywhere, it is very difficult for many bisexual and gay men to accept themselves.
There are also people who are mostly straight but like to change up a bit once a while. However, I suspect these people are far outnumbered by bi/gay men who just cannot admit the truth to themselves.
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Permalink Reply by Aubrey on
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But then when will the conviction of self acceptance be? And where does that put someone who may fall inlove with a bi guy?
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Permalink Reply by Aubrey on
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In light of the recent views, I am yet to get around the standard of promescuity which has relatively been associated with homosexuality which prompted the topic for this discussion. If any, is there a perception that we as a community want to give off to the global community?
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Permalink Reply by Knight on
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In the end, we are who we are. I do not understand the need to label/name everything. Personally, I do not see myself as being gay, I see myself being who I am.
What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
So I say, they are who they are and nothing else matters. :-D
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Permalink Reply by Aubrey on
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With that anonymity outlook, then why did you sign up to this site? Clearly there must be some box out of the two specified by the name of the site that you belong to. I am not in anyway disputing your stand point but am just making an observation of how hollow your response is, care to fill it up?
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personally, I do not like writing long essays in groups or forums, so I will do my best to clear it up, short sweet and to the point.
I am under the label of gay. I am all for and Pride and am proud myself. However, as the years pile up, I formulate my own understanding of life and how i live my life. Before any of my friends knew me as being gay, they knew me as Knight. After they knew of me as being gay, it was just in my personality and nothing changed because in the end I am and always will be Knight. So whether it was Gay Knight or anything else, I would still be me.
That is why I put that (poorly punctuationed) shakespeare quote there. If those guys who sleep with men do not categorize themselves as neither gay or bi, then does that make them any less of who they are? One might say "they are not accepting who they are." which may be true, but who is to say that is the case?
Or it could be that they are trying understand themselves, find themselves. While it may be a poor excuse, it is also a reasonable case, depending on circumstances.
Did I clear up everything?
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Permalink Reply by Aubrey on
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Thank you knight, for your explanation. Its pretty much clear. However i do not lean with comfort on the notion of explanation, where the basis of this topic is targeting. I will not judge but i all seek to do is understand, whether is it fair or not, the jury is still out on that one.
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